Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Granny Diet

The key to living to 91 is to pickle yourself. No, not with alcohol (though that is an option). With preservatives, my friend.
Forget whole grains, green leafy vegetables, lean meat, and locavore-ism. Say hello to frozen meals, mystery meat and the fine art of 'baked goods".
Here's a sampling of what we bought at Tops (inside joke slogan "Tops never mops") yesterday...

Oscar Meyer bologna (the all beef kind at least)
Boston Market frozen meals
cubed steak
Half gallon Edy's French vanilla ice cream
Package of monster sized cranberry muffins
Several packages of Green Giant frozen veggies w/cheese sauce
Stella D'Oro cookies
sliced mozzarella
Red Baron French bread pizza (two boxes)
Milk of Magnesia (natch)

Fry everything. EVERYTHING.
Small capitulations to healthy eating: oatmeal every morning, fresh fruit, Activia yogurt drinks
She will be 91 next month, and has never really been overweight.

If I ate like this, I would top 350.

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